2.5 : Self-Discrepancy Theory

According to the self-discrepancy theory, people hold beliefs about what they’re really like, as well as what they would ideally like to be and what they think they should be.

These three interpretations correspond to the actual self—the self that someone thinks they are; the ideal self—the self that one wants to be; and the ought self—the self that a person feels compelled to honor, regarding duties, obligations, and demands.

Ideally, people prefer to close the gap between their actual self and their ideal or ought beliefs. If they fall short, any discrepancies may lead to different emotional and motivational consequences.

For instance, the youngest boy is really a terrible singer—his actual self—but he aspires to be a rock star—his ideal self. When his sister calls him out, he feels dejected and ashamed as a result of the divergence.

In this situation, to pursue his ideal life goals, he uses a promotion focus—an emphasis on positive approaches and outcomes. That is, he concentrates on what it will be like to succeed and optimistically signs up for vocal lessons to improve his singing.

His sister, as her actual self, loses patience with the awful noise. Nonetheless, she feels agitated and guilty because her ought-self grasps being a loving and supporting sister. With respect to her ought self, here she’s motivated to use a prevention focus—an emphasis on avoiding negative outcomes and mitigating potential problems.

Due to her mismatch and sensitivity, she would like to escape and avoid her brother when he’s practicing, so she doesn’t lose her adoration for him.

Living up to ideal and ought standards—along with the self-control that’s involved—can be mentally taxing. As a result, an individual may experience ego depletion—a state in which someone lacks the energy or resources to engage in further acts of self-control.

Fortunately, most situations do not completely drain someone’s self-regulatory resources. For example, as the father enters the room with the pile of donuts, he quickly calls to mind how important it is for him to eat healthily.

His automatic tendency—bringing the goal to mind first—diminished any thoughts about the immediate temptation, and he could achieve his long-term objective of living a wholesome life with his family.

In the end, people can be motivated to regulate their behaviors in several ways.